FAQ: How Do I Help Someone That Doesn’t Think God Is There for Them?

It’s surprising to see how many people have ‘written God off’ because they don’t think God has been there for them. How can you help people to see differently?

There’s never a formula, but there are some very practical ways you can go about helping people to see that God loves them and that He cares. This practical example involves you, you being ‘like Jesus’ to them.

Here are 3 practical ways you can help:

1. Ask questions

This shows that you care and want to spend time with them. Take time to talk to them and ask questions about why they feel this way. You’re not looking for a quick-fix solution here, and it’s not time for you to give suggestions. This is simply you drawing out information from them so you can understand where they are coming from. Giving time for someone to talk can do wonders, it may even help them to discover for themselves what it is that is causing these feelings. It might be hard for them to give you reasons why they feel the way that they do, so that’s where open-ended questions can help them along the way. Open-ended questions that help people to open up can also help those people to discover Jesus for themselves. That means crafting a question where the person needs to answer more than a ‘yes’ or ‘no’, eg. “How long have you felt this way?” instead of “Have you felt like this for a long time?”.

2. Listen

This shows that you want to be involved in their life. I know this doesn’t sound like rocket science, but listening means you are not the one talking. It can be harder than you think sometimes. The art of listening means taking time to consider and listen to what the person has to say, without butting in with a suggestion or solution. There is so much you can gain from this. The person feels valued and it also helps them to express their problem, and lastly, it gives you invaluable insight.

3. Connect

This shows you want a real relationship with them. After asking questions, and listening, you can then begin to help them to ‘connect the dots’ or be the bridge where ‘the gaps’ exist. The connection will happen in a variety of ways, and this is where it’s important that you are getting guidance from the Holy Spirit, it’s the Holy Spirit’s timing and not yours. You will learn to know this the more you practice, and remember the Holy Spirit is usually not rushed, but at peace. Sometimes you may feel nervous or unsure, which can cause confusion about whether or not you feel that peace - when I find myself asking “Is this really you God?”, that’s often my key to knowing it is, and I simply need to be bold in helping the person forward.

It will only be in the context of a conversation and spending time with the person that you will be able to start getting an idea of why a barrier to God exists. Keep things simple and take care not to bombard them with thoughts or to ‘have all the answers’, you don’t, but God does! It may be appropriate to talk about what having a relationship or connection with God is like, and invite them to talk to God with you. Jesus never forced himself on anyone, He spoke the truth in love and gave people a choice for a relationship.

When Jesus healed the man at the pool in John 5:5–9, we see a clear example of these three practical ways; Jesus asked questions, then he listened, and then he connected. Whether the problem started because they had never considered God to exist, or they’ve felt distanced from God because of misunderstandings or major trauma, the way to help point them to Jesus is to give them a living example of what Jesus would do.

Ecclesiastes 3:1–8 reminds us that there are many seasons of life. Some last longer than others. If this has not been a short-term problem, it’s often that the solution will not be short-term either. Now, that’s not to say that we don’t trust God for his miracle-working power in the person’s life. Pray for that, and expect it.

Taking time to build a community around the person is important. Be careful not to abandon them! It’s important that they are well-connected to a community of people with ongoing support, love, care, and family.

Be encouraged! You can be the example that points people toward Jesus! Be bold, expect miracles, and move in faith.