How to Respond with Empathy Instead of Sympathy
Empathy builds connection and sympathy does not. This is something we keep in mind when we are engaging with Explorers. Brené Brown does an incredible job of explaining the importance of empathy and the difference between empathy and sympathy.
There are four qualities of empathy:
Perspective Taking - the ability to take the perspective of another person or recognise their perspective as their truth
Staying out of judgement
Recognising emotion in other people and then communicating that
Empathy is feeling with people, a sacred place. It’s not a place you can pull them out of until you go down to where they are. This is where the connection begins.
Sympathy, on the other hand, acknowledges the situation and offers a quick fix eg. “Oh dear that’s bad, can I get you a cup of tea?” This seldom works. Rarely, if ever, does an empathic response begin with “at least…..”
It’s best to avoid trying to make the person feel better, the element that makes something better is connection.
It’s better to say, “I don’t even know what to say, I’m just so glad you told me.”
We aim to allow Explorers to share freely, while we listen carefully for cues and build connection by talking about their/our feelings around the situation.
